Turn this loud ( I mean really loud) first and tell me what you feel:
I used to drink a lot... but I've never made a fool of myself or my family (well, at least the others say so). Anyway, I could not imagine a single day without alcohol. Booze was my middle name.
Then I came across this song. The feeling was like I've met the immaculate truth... hard to explain. I have discovered supreme power that I could almost touch. The power that loves me much more than I deserve and much more than I loved myself.
I drunk and listened to this song over and over again and cried. I cried a lot. There was something this song touched in me and that was the start of something.
I somehow knew the booze days are soon to be over.
And then I felt I started loving myself. I have looked my son and remembered the most beautiful and innocent part of me - the child in me. The child I have been killing with the tons of booze. But it seems, nothing is able to kill the innocence.
And then, several things happened in short time period:
- my friend Ivan died from booze. Was I guilty for that? No, but I was PART of his tragedy.
- after drinking with me my friend went home. He got so drunk he fell on the street and woke up in ER. Was that my fault? No, but I was PART of it.
- then came this killing thread at GLP. I hope the OP is safe and sound (bless him). Again I was PART of that picture.
The click in my head was immediate: I'll either be pure as the above song is or I'll keep doing impossible - killing the innocence in me.
And then, I simply stop craving alcohol. Now I listen to this song without crying because I am on my way there.
This song IS love. It is impossible not to love yourself if you can perceive it.
I used to drink a lot... but I've never made a fool of myself or my family (well, at least the others say so). Anyway, I could not imagine a single day without alcohol. Booze was my middle name.
Then I came across this song. The feeling was like I've met the immaculate truth... hard to explain. I have discovered supreme power that I could almost touch. The power that loves me much more than I deserve and much more than I loved myself.
I drunk and listened to this song over and over again and cried. I cried a lot. There was something this song touched in me and that was the start of something.
I somehow knew the booze days are soon to be over.
And then I felt I started loving myself. I have looked my son and remembered the most beautiful and innocent part of me - the child in me. The child I have been killing with the tons of booze. But it seems, nothing is able to kill the innocence.
And then, several things happened in short time period:
- my friend Ivan died from booze. Was I guilty for that? No, but I was PART of his tragedy.
- after drinking with me my friend went home. He got so drunk he fell on the street and woke up in ER. Was that my fault? No, but I was PART of it.
- then came this killing thread at GLP. I hope the OP is safe and sound (bless him). Again I was PART of that picture.
The click in my head was immediate: I'll either be pure as the above song is or I'll keep doing impossible - killing the innocence in me.
And then, I simply stop craving alcohol. Now I listen to this song without crying because I am on my way there.
This song IS love. It is impossible not to love yourself if you can perceive it.
Good luck,OP,and God bless you. Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteSomething similar happened to me. I was a heavy smoker for 10 years, and I used to drink a lot, too. I started when I was 16. Just a few months ago, a series of events happened in my life that God used to change me, and I decided that I did not want to keep burning my lungs anymore and I wanted to stop drinking, too. I told God I wanted to quit once and for all. I tried before, I just kept going back. This time, though, I asked Him for help. Funny enough, I suddenly developed an allergy to alcohol. And I smoked my last cigarette last May 15. God bless you, brother, as you let His love change you. :) Your testimony is a blessing to me.
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